Sunday, December 14, 2014

Coretan dari Hati

Assalamualaikum,


Ok, now where I want to start. Well nothing much happened to my life lately cuma sekarang musim perkhawinan. Kiri kanan bercakap pasal khawin and what do you expect for a 23 years old lady to feel like. Of course, I want to get married too ! Haha

But I know the time will come and fall in the right time with the right person. Insha'Allah, for now I'm preparing to improved myself. Planning for a better future dari banyak segi. I'm applying a new job and at the same time for my master degree. Insha'Allah semoga Allah permudahkan dan ditunjukkan mana yang terbaik. Ameen Ya Rabb.


Hmm 


                                                                                      ******


Kadang-kadang manusia ni cepat berubah hati apabila melihat sesuatu yang sempurna di matanya. Tapi kadang-kadang manusia jugak lupa nak berfikir yang diri sendiri cukup layakkah, setarafkah. Apa diri ini juga sempurna seperti sesempurnanya dia. Teringat kata-kata Prof. Muhaya. Kita akan menarik sesorang berdasarkan magnet apa yang ada pada diri kita. Contoh, kalau kita nak orang yang baik, kita kenalah berubah menjadi baik dan begitulah sebaliknya.

Tapi takut juga andai diri ini terlalu cepat menilai orang. Siapa tahu, orang yang kita tengok berpakaian biasa-biasa saja mungkin imannya lebih kuat dari kita. Kita tak tahu hati orang. Dalam erti kata "tak tahu" itu bermaksud kita ni tak tahu apa-apa pun maka jangan terlalu cepat 'judge' orang. Sebab itu, orang tua-tua kata tak kenal maka tak cinta. 

Seperti ku, dahulu mungkin kesilapan aku sendiri apabila terlalu menyerahkan hati ini untuk seseorang. Tapi manusia mana yang tidak membuat kesilapan. Bahkan aku ingin sekali berterima kasih dengannya, sekurang-kurangnya ini pengajaran untuk aku lebih matang dalam berfikir dan sebahagian dari pengalaman hidup. Maka, kini aku lebih berhati-hati dalam berkawan dan menuturkan kata-kata. Maaf seandainya aku tidak banyak berkongsi tentang diri sendiri kerana ada yang bertanya kenapa masih sendiri sehingga kini. Apa dirimu begitu memilih sekali. 


Aku sendiri tidak ada jawapan kepada itu. Aku tidak memilih tapi aku cuma berharap agar satu hari nanti aku dapat menikahi sesorang yang aku cintai walaupun sehingga saat ini aku masih belum tahu siapa lagi. Bagi aku 


" To be loved by someone you love is blessing,
   But to marry someone you love is a greater blessing. "


Thus, please Allah SWT in everything we do. Insha'Allah it will worth the wait. 


Aku sendiri sedang melatih diri untuk lebih banyak bersabar. Aku tidak menegaskan yang diri ini takut untuk bercinta. Bagi aku, perasaan cinta, suka dan sayang itu fitrah manusia. Rasa hati ini susah untuk kawal. Mungkin mulut boleh berbicara tapi hati tak boleh untuk menipu perasaan sendiri. Cuma terpulang pada diri sendiri bagaimana harus menguruskannya tetapi yang pasti sentiasa utamakan cinta Allah. 


Mungkin ada yang bertanya. Apa ada seseorang yang singgah di hati tatkala ini ?

Terus terang aku katakan. Mungkin ya mungkin juga tidak kerana aku sendiri takut kalau-kalau diri ini salah mentafsir hati sendiri. Kerana hati manusia ini sifatnya berbolak-balik. Takut kalau mata hanya nampak dia sahaja dan tidak nampak kebaikan orang lain.  

Maka --


Apa yang aku ada hanya.
Doa sebagai kata-kata.
Zikir sebagai vitamin hati dikala lara.
Istikharah sebagai pengubat jiwa. 

Aku tinggalkan sedikit petikan dari kata-kata Saidina Ali bin  Abi Talib.

" Cintailah kekasihmu sekadarnya saja, siapa tahu nanti menjadi musuhmu dan bencilah musuhmu sekadarnya sahaja siapa tahu nanti menjadi kekasihmu " - Saidina Ali bin  Abi Talib



Monday, December 8, 2014

A quick one

Assalamualaikum,

Just had some free time to update. Since, I have gave my lappy to my baby sister for her usage in university. Its quite hard for me to always write. I'm sorry but don't worry I have promise to myself that I'll write at least twice a month despite how busy I am. This blog has become a part of my life.

Well, I have been doing a lot of reflecting and reminiscing lately. I couldn't have done this without His help. Masha'Allah. I could say that I am a lot better than before. But I'm still improving by seeking more of His knowledge. I prays for Allah SWT to keeps me steadfast. Insha'Allah.

There's so much stories I wanted to share but the minute the idea click and next thing you know its gone missing. *crying hardly*

The clock keeps ticking as I wanted to write more thus I should end here.

Have a good sleep.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Lessons learn



Time flies so fast isn't it ?
Weekend just in a blink and hopefully there's no Monday blues for me tomorrow. Hmm

Well, to share with you something that I learn from what was happened is to always put parent first in whatever decision we are making. In fact, we don't even know how much time we'd spent before they're going to meet The Almighty. Thus, never ever hurt our parent's feeling, if we're happened to please quickly go and ask for forgiveness.

Second, it is crucial to educate our children with religious upbringing and knowledge. After what had happened, this is a big matter for me. I was thinking on how to teach my children later. Don't get me wrong, its not my intention saying that those children doesn't get proper education is bad. But thing is, whatever we taught them that is what they will be. Hence, we should prepare ourselves physically and mentally and it is vital to have a plans with our spouses on how to raise our children.

To sum it up, I prays to Allah SWT for giving me someone who could be 'Walid' to my kids later. Who could advise them whenever they're doing fault, ask them if they seems like having problems with their colleagues or share something like love story with their Walid. All those cheeky cheeky things. Oh, I can't wait to get married ! Haha

 Lets end this post before I'm starts dreaming something. Hehe
Until then.



Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Cintakan Ilmu-Nya

Assalamualaikum, 

Belakangan ini, aku terlalu sibuk dengan kerja-kerja di makmal tetapi akanku curi sedikit masa untuk menulis sebelum mata terlelap. Sekalipun dilambakkan dengan kerja di dunia, Allhamdulillah dengan izin-Nya dapat juga aku luangkan masa menghadiri majlis ilmu untuk bekalan akhiratku nanti. 

Betullah kata orang seandainya niat kita baik untuk memperbaiki diri, maka Allah SWT akan datangkan kita orang yang baik-baik untuk sentiasa ingat kepada-Nya. Aku bersyukur dipertemukan sekali lagi dengan Kak Ismah. Rakan sekuliahku semasa di USM. Sesuatu mengenai dia yang aku kagumi adalah sifatnya yang sentiasa bersangka baik kepada semua orang. 

Malam itu, di rumah sewanya. Sedikit perkongsian hidup antara aku dan dia setelah hampir setahun tidak bersemuka. Banyak kata-kata nasihat yang disampaikan dan apa yang dapat aku simpulkan adalah setiap yang terjadi sebelum ini adalah tarbiyah kepada kita supaya kembali mengingati Allah SWT. Aku akui apa yang telah berlaku sebelum ini sedikit sebanyak memberi impak kepada perjalanan seharian hidupku tetapi jika diambil dari sudut positifnya. Ia adalah satu turning point untuk lebih dekatkan diri dengan-Nya.

Aku tertarik dengan kata-kata Dr. Rubiah K Hamzah. Salah seorang panelis Konvesyen Bawaku ke Syurga. "Cintakan Allah, agar cinta yang datang dari Allah itu nanti, bisa kembali kepada Allah sesucinya" . Apabila prioriti cinta itu diberikan kepada Allah, maka cinta yang datang dari manusia itu tidak perlu dipinta-pinta dan cinta yang bersemi itu nanti mendapat berkat dan diredhai oleh-Nya. Apa yang menarik minatku dengan cara penyampaian beliau adalah liuk lenggok bahasanya seperti orang Indonesia serta pendekatannya ibarat seorang ummi yang sedang menasihati anak-anaknya. 

Konvesyen Bawaku ke Syurga satu program yang begitu bermanfaat. Slot dari pagi sehingga ke petang dipenuhi dengan ilmu-ilmu Nya. Selain dari Dr. Rubiah K Hamzah, ada beberapa lagi ahli panel yang hebat iaitu Ustaz Pahrol Juoi, Ustazah Fatimah Syarha, Ustaz Razin Mestica dan Dena Bahrin. Banyak yang ingin dikongsikan tapi kukira sampai disini sahaja. Semoga Allah memberkati Kak Ismah, Kak Umi dan semua yang menghadiri majlis ilmu ini. InshaAllah.





Monday, November 10, 2014

True Love

Assalamualaikum,


Rabbi Zidni Ilman Nafi'a.
Subhanallah. This Zik'r from Zikir Terapi album by Hafiz Hamidun just keep playing in my playlist.
May Allah SWT forgive us all.

 
So yesterday is another meaningful day for me. Alhamdulillah, I've Khatam Al-Quran. To makes it more memorable this time I finished reading with Mak. Thank you Allah :') Mak used to teach Qur'an. Hopefully I can improved more on my reading. Insha'Allah.


 I couldn't describes the feeling after Mak reads the Du'a. Have you ever fell deeply in love with The Creator ? You are so addicted to His love that it makes you to be the best for Him, The Almighty. And the best of all, He never disappoints you with His mercy and blessings. This is what I called True Love. The love between you and Allah Taala. May Allah strengthen our Imaan and guide us all in the right path. Ameen, Ya Rabb.

Until Then.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Cerita tiba-tiba Vol 1





Secara tiba-tiba, aku menuju ke arah Mak lalu berkata.


"Mak, Mak doa bagi Kak Long kawen awai tau"

Hahahaha *gelak dalam hati*

"Dah ada calon ka?"

"Hmm tak dak lagi, tapi Mak doa tau. tau. Tapi sekarang Kak Long tengah apply sambung Master tapi Mak doa jugak tau"

"Yaaaa, doaaa"

Hahahaha *gelak dalam hati*


Aku terus berlalu masuk ke dalam bilik dan membiarkan Mak menyambung kerja menjahitnya.


Saturday, November 1, 2014

Calmness of mind and soul



I guess I have wrote a lot about love lately. Forgive me but I think this is the only place I feel safe expressing what's in my hearts. I rarely share something like this in my social media. I did share but next thing you know I'll delete it. I don't know why. I just feel shy over this matter to share it in public. I guess it explain my personality.

Today everything seems so wrong to me at my work place. I don't have the guts to do anything despite that I have loads of work. Astaghfirullah Al-Azim.

Whenever I have unsettled feeling, rather than prays to Allah SWT I will listen to Prof. Muhaya talks. MasyaAllah. She's one respectful women. Everything she utters just calm my mind and soul. I likes when she's tried to elaborate the point and relates it to science terms. It reach me well. Insha'Allah. 

One things that I can share is Prof. Muhaya always remind that whatever you have, give it to others and Insha'Allah Allah will pay you back. I should be more keen on this. Giving more to others unconditionally and learn to forgive. Forgive everything from the past and people from the past and you will found something from the forgiveness. I'm not a perfect person. I made mistakes. I take these trials as lesson in life as well as wake up call. May Allah ease our journey here.



So, its 1st of November means we are reaching to end of year 2014. I pray for Allah to gives me and you more happiness in the upcoming days. Insha'Allah.
Its already 2.03 AM and I still wide awake. Blame the caffeine. *Cry*


Until next time,
Azni Zuhaini.






Monday, October 27, 2014

Melody of Life


Monday, 27 Oct 2014.
12.01 AM



I wrote this while listening to Sam Smith's " Stay With Me ". I'm not quite sure what I feel right now. All I know something is bothering me. Something that I don't know how to interpret it. You know, love can hurt us so bad but it can heal us too. Love can drive us mad and love can drive us crazy but one thing I sure is when we love someone we'll never get tired listening to "I'm sorry" repeatedly. Love is human nature.

I'm not good at expressing love to someone I care but deep down from inside I'm really care. After all, shyness itself is the nature of women and the feel of love comes from Allah SWT because He is the guardian of our heart. Hence, I don't want to destroy this friendship over something I'm not sure.

It is the same feel that come again?
If yes, I pray for Allah to keep this for someone who are truly deserves it.

Until then. Have a good sleep,
Love,
-Azni Zuhaini-



Saturday, October 25, 2014

1436 Hijri

Assalamualaikum,



Super tiring day. I could still feel the jet lag. One day walking non-stop is super tired I can't even feel my legs but its worth it. Have a short catching up session with the girl. I felt so grateful having a thoughtful friends who are always helping me. I miss you girls more than a words but life must be keep moving to another phase.

When I turn off light and lay on the bed. Trying to take some time to Muhasabah. Its a moment to think what have I going through today. Trying to forgive everyone and learn to let go what is not mine. Sometimes I asked myself, am I contributed enough to my parents, am I improving to be better in order to find a better. No  I am not saying I'm searching for perfection because I know human aren't perfect. Just as enough if he could guide me well, who can accept my family and the most important is who could be imam in my prayer. 

After all, I will always remember that what matter most is our intention. When we take one step towards Allah, He will take ten step towards us even if it just a small effort. Lets practicing Sunnah in our daily lives and together search for His blessings. Even if its hard please work up a smile. Salam Maal Hijrah 1436H.

Till next time
-Azni Zuhaini-

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Harapan yang selalu



Untuk apa menaruh harapan pada yang tidak pasti.
Sedangkan ada tempat untuk sandarkan harapan yang tentu pasti.
Tidak pernah mengecewakan mahupun menyakitkan

DIA.

Allah Azza wal Jalla.

Untuk apa berusaha memuaskan hati manusia.
Supaya kelihatan hebat.
Supaya kelihatan sempurna.

Sia-sia.

Tidak ada satupun yang cukup sempurna.
Hatta.
Pasti disakiti untuk kesekian kalinya.
Demi.
Kesempurnaan itu.

Aku.
Patut balik pada yang pertama.
Pada akar umbi yang utama.
Untuk hati hati yang aku sayangi.
Untuk impian yang ingin digapai.

Hal itu--

Aku serahkan pada DIA.
DIA yang Maha Kuasa.
Dalam merencana kebahagian manusia.
Aku hanya mampu berdoa

dan terus berdoa --

08/10/2014, 11:03 PM

Till Next Time.
-Azni Zuhaini





Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Mosque

Assalamualaikum,



I love the feeling visiting mosque. Its unique. Its kind of pure feel when we're inside the mosque and performing salat. Subhanallah. Indeed Islam is most beautiful religion. We should dig in more to find the beauty of Islam.

Location : Masjid Zahir, Alor Setar.

Among the 4th most beautiful mosque in the world. To perform zuh'r prayer is such an opportunity to me. I love the design, the environment itself. I found calmness. Hoping to travel the world and visits all the beautiful mosque. InsyaAllah.

Till next time
-Azni Zuhaini-








Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Of Mistakes And Feeling

Assalamualaikum,



Today I came to work as usual. 8.00 O' clock in the morning. Gosh Monday blues seems never been apart from me. I should do something to overcome it. I have read somewhere in article. About ways to reduce Monday blues is through planning something over the weekend so you'll get excited going thru the weeks.

Well back to the topic, There's this sister in my work place and she's just got married few weeks ago. Today, she came back after her holiday. MasyaAllah, I could tell how happy she is after getting married. 

The way she's telling me her honeymoon trip makes me think how beautiful married life is.
I know Allah will send me the right man in the right time. InsyaAllah, will keep my faith stronger to Him.
 
I have been thinking something lately. Astagfirullah. I shouldn't have this kind of feeling.

I should be more ikhlas in the words that I utter. 
Be more ikhlas in whatever I am giving.

I makes mistakes. Every time I made it. It draws me closer to Allah. Indeed mistakes is the best teacher. No I am not saying I afraid to fall in love. Its just that I might gives my heart to the wrong person and getting hurt again and again. Consequently, I've decided to give my heart to the Almighty and to put hopes toward Him so I won't get hurt once again.

In the meantime, I should improved myself to became a better muslimah. InsyaAllah. I want to live my life and dreams. Be good to others and gives more.

[In the nature of things,] corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men, for corrupt women - just as good women are for good men, and good men, for good women. [Since God is aware that] these are innocent of all that evil tongues may impute to them, forgiveness of sins shall be theirs, and a most excellent sustenance! - an-Nur 24:26


Till next time
-Azni Zuhaini-

Monday, September 22, 2014

Reclaim Our Heart




“We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. We need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.” 

- Yasmin Mogahed, Reclaim Your Heart -





Sunday, September 21, 2014

Blog since 2010

Assalamualaikum,

It is almost 4 years of blogging.
Since 2010.

I still remember when this blog were first created. Its not my intend to blog but back then I was accidentally said  to my friend  that I have one. Kinda act to fit into the circle when blogspot were in trend at that times.

Since I was overreacted to my friend's question and she want to read my blog. Thus, nothing I can do rather than created one.

Occasionally, I am working on deleting some older post. Peoples changed, so do I. It takes a bit of time removing all those childish post and I am laughing my butt off all night editing and discarding some unnecessary post. Teen years !

To sum it up, I'm not a good writer at first even now. Hoping to learns more about writing skill and languages because I love to share things about my life and will continue writing until I have my own family.

InsyaAllah.



Till next time,
Have a good sleep,
-Azni Zuhaini-

Friday, September 19, 2014

Love


Assalamualaikum,




Life flow of each person sometimes is so easy and some maybe hard. They get what they want without getting any difficulties. Mine at first is easy, I wanted to study at boarding school and I've got it even a bit late as 4th intake student but still I am grateful to be offered as a science student. Then I am pursuing studies at my favorite university to learn more about chemistry.

Hence I could've said my life is easy but the journey of my love story are tough. I have been through relationship that takes a lot of tears. 

Once in while I was thinking why this is all happening to me why am I being choose to go through this kind of hardship why I not received any happiness that I want like anyone else did.

Yet, I know Allah plan are way better than mine.
And not always we get what we want. At times I feels that it is the best for me and he should be mine but once Allah said no means there is someone who are better than him that has been waiting for me and all I can do is keep praying and be patient because good things come to those who sab'r.

I will take it as a part of life experiences. He has found his happiness and I'll always pray for him to be happy with his life even its more than word utters. I am not move on or stuck with the past it just that I am devoted  person. When I love, I love with all my heart and when I have no choice but to let it go, my hearts bleeds and it hurts so deep. Can't even describe how painful it was. I don't want to go the same thing anymore. Not anymore. This could be the last. 

I pray that I can keep my love for the one who really deserves it someday. To my husband to be precise. 



To the man whom I will marry one day,
I will keep my love just for you
Hoping that I can love you because of Allah.
Lets find the path in our du'a.

Till next time

-Azni Zuhaini-




Thursday, September 18, 2014

My status

Assalamualaikum,

Its Friday, have you read Al-Kahfi today ?
Me. I'll try to finish by tomorrow InsyaAllah.

I've been questioned a lot about my status lately. When i answered the question, some are not believed and some are wonder why I am still single. Actually to tell the truth, I've been single for a quite long time. 

I believe Allah has a better plan for me.
I will hold on to what I have hold on to before.

Being a 23-year old single single lady is ain't easy. Some of my friends already married, some were about to off market and few are having kids. Frankly speaking, I am jealous seeing they have found their happiness to be loved by someone. 

Back to the first, the answer should be I am nobody's until I've become someone's wife. I convinced Allah will send me my spouse when He knows I am all ready.



Till next time,
xoxo
-Azni Zuhaini-



Monday, September 15, 2014

First post of 2014

Assalamualaikum,

Sekarang dah bukan zaman kegemilangan blogging. Last update May tahun lepas. Ok tak mau marah diri sendiri, memang ambil keputusan nak privatekan blog ni atas sebab sebab tertentu. Dalam masa tu tengah nak mencari diri sendiri lagi, banyak yang jadi takpe yang baik kita ingat yang tak baik kita jadikan sempadan dan ambik pengajaran supaya benda benda macam tu tak jadi lagi. Things happen for a reason.

Well aku dah grad pada tahun lepas so kira kira balik dah nak dekat setahun pun aku grad dan alhamdulillah dah kerja almost 7 bulan di sebuah company pharmaceuticals sebagai seorang chemist.

Dan the best thing is tempat kerja aku hanya tambah-tolak-traffic-light hanyalah 10 minit dari rumah.  Dedulu masa aku zaman remaja sekolah menengah aku selalu berangan bila duduk dengan family, ada bilik sendiri, tempat kerja dekat rumah boleh spent time dengan family, kawan kawan . Those kind imaginary things masa zaman muda remaja. ( Ehem sekarang pun muda lagi oke ) Lol

Sebab dulu aku sekolah asrama dari form 1 sampai form 5 pastu matrik pastu masuk u so tak dak masa nak ada feel heyy I have my own room yang boleh decorate sendiri, kalau bersepah pon takde orang marah.

Starting 2014 aku sangat lah tak best sebab masa hujung tahun lepas something happened. Lepastu masa awal tahun tuh involved dengan eksident. Memang permulaan yang tak memberi semangat langsung. Tapi lama lama aku dah okay sebenarnya benda benda macam tu lah yang bagi kita masa untuk tenangkan diri dan fikir balik baik buruk sesuatu tuh. Indeed Allah knows the best =')

Aku tak tau nak delete atau tak post yang lama lama nih. Biarlah dulu kan.



Till next time,
xoxo
-Azni Zuhaini-